Question of the Week™

3-23-03
What’s your favorite Easter song?
Answer:
jebus.com exists now!!!

3-2-03
What is this dog thinking right now?


Editor: I suppose “CRACKERS” and “HOT DOGS” are valid answers, but that’s so been done, like, whatever.
2-16-03
If you could replace an actor in any movie with a dog, who would it be (and which movie)?
Answer:
Oskar Schindler in Schindler’s list
2-2-03
Give me as many euphemisms for “the dirty deed” as you can think of.
Answer:
Pantster Twines and the Attack of the Biscuit Mongers: Part 1: Where’s My Pants Now?
Editor: that answer was just too good
1-12-03
Here’s the video game: a dog wearing pants embarks on a quest to save the planet with only dog biscuits and a ball of twine (and pants)…come up with a title!
Answer:
Pantster Twines and the Attack of the Biscuit Mongers: Part 1: Where’s My Pants Now?

12-15-02
Hey, I’ve got an idea: I’ll post an amusing picture and you’ll send me your comments!

Answer:
The turkey neck is NOT part of the gibblets!!!!!!!1

12-1-02
Scarier: Chugger Ray (see atomine.net) or that commercial with the fat squirrel?

Answer:
I do not know chugger Ray. Never met the fool. Then again, maybe I have. You guys WERE in East Aurora, weren’t you? JayMan
Editor: Hmm…the plot thickens…who is the mysterious JayMan?

11-10-02
What is the more imminent threat to democracy as we know it: Saddam Hussein or a monkey with encyclopedic knowledge of copy/fax machine manuals? (the monkey is also able to wash cats) Please explain your answer.

Answer:
BAH, nothing to merit a post here!

11-3-02
I’ve always thought of raccoons as “bandits.” Your thoughts?

Answer:
While “Pork” was a good guess, the answer is: “I was down in Austin for the High-Lift Design Methodology Conference and had to stop at a gas station for a smoke. No sooner did I plunk down my Winstons on the counter when I saw a downright hairy, bandit-looking dude with a gun! The dude raided the cash register, killed the cashier, and shot me in the ass as he ran out the door! And to top it all off, he stole my damn Winstons! If there’s one thing I learned–once my ass had healed–is that bandits aren’t to be trusted. So, I got myself a shotgun, and killed all the raccoons in Bucks County, ya know, ‘cuz they look like bandits. Four days later, Mindy was dead.”

10-20-02
What could be driving the I-95 sniper to shoot all these Virginians???

Answer: “It is actually a terminator, all of the people it is shooting are those who will fight the terminators in the future, or have children who will fight the terminators.”

10-13-02
What is truly worth waiting for these days?

Answer:
“good old fasioned steaming HOT DOGS!”

10-6-02
What’s in YOUR wallet?

Answer: “A
HOT DOG”

9-29-02
Would I look good with a mohawk? (note: it may be too late to answer this question……..)

Answer: No winner, your answers were all pathetic…I’m very disappointed; I’m not just gonna throw up any old answer here! (do not look at 9-22 answer after reading this)

9-22-02
What images does the term “hoo-has” conjure up
in your mind’s eye?

Answer:
“hoo has taken all ma jarz of chitlins yo????”

9-15-02
I’ve gotta find a “real” job soon; any suggestions?

Answer: “i’ll pay you to be my prank monkey”

9-8-02
Is it hot in here or is it just me? Bacon?

Answer: “OK, Dammit! Two weeks with the same question….Don’t make me start sending threats to you too. (Voice in head says, “Ross must die.”) Update the qotw! Some of us don’t go to school anymore, punk! We actually do have time to check your site every day! Change the qotw to the qotd! And tell Ross to get off his lazy ass and update his page too! GGGGGGGRRRRR!”

Editor: So is it hot in here or not? Bacon?

8-25-02
Due to the increase in “disguised” responses to the QOTW, I must ask the following: would you dislike me if my name were “Gates”?

Answer: “EEEHHHNNN!”

8-18-02
Nah.

8-11-02
More exciting game: “Yahtzee” or “Russian Gulag Twister”?

Answer: “I’m a harmless nobody who found out that I can get the ominous death threats for Ross printed on YOUR site easier than I can on Ross’ site. I’d never hurt the idiot, but I think its kinda neat to lash out from the guise of the “Fischer.net QOTW.” Hee hee! More exciting game!?! How about “Russion yahtzee roulette twister solitaire!” That’s where Ross rolls 5 dice, adds up the total of the five dice, takes a six chambered revolver, loads it with as many bullets as repeated dice numbers, aims at his own head, pulls the trigger as many times as the total of the dice, and sees how many spots on twister mat he can cover with his own blood. Wheeee! That sound like fun to watch. Go Ross! Thanx Meester Feescher for allowing the opportunity to taunt Ross from a median he can not control! “Right Frontal Lobe – GREEN!””

Editor: But of course.

8-4-02
What images does the name “Jimmy Dean” conjure up within your mind?

Answer:
“Either breakfast sausage, or a decapitated f*gg*t.
Either way, Ross Madden should die.”
Editor: who the f is this???
Editor: I don’t know when Jones’ party is; I will be gone.

7-28-02
Why in the world would I do that?

Answer: “woohoo – no cryptic death threats for me on the 28th!!”

7-21-02
What’s the best score you’ve ever shot in the sport of kings?

Answer: “Do you mean wild boar hunting? If so, then 2”
Answer #2 (to continue the trend): “Never shot in the sport of kings….but I was thinking about shooting Ross Madden!”

7-14-02
Better movie: “Road to Perdition” or “The ChubbChubbs?”

Answer: “Never saw either. But I believe that Ross should still die.”
Editor’s Note: Has anyone else noticed a disturbing trend within the past few responses? ‘Best be watchin’ yo’ back, Boss!

6-30-02
You find yourself being mauled by a pack of rabid wolverines (seventeen of them, to be exact); however, you note that a lone badger is standing off to the side, not mauling you, taking in the situation and looking very
sad. Facing certain death (by mauling), what would you do?

Answer:
“I would let the wolverines know that Ross Madden is still alive. Then maybe they’d get pissed off and go maul his ass.”

6-23-02
Apparently, none of you had thoughts on soy sauce, so the QOTW will be on hiatus unless there is sufficient popular demand for its return.

Answer:
“Ross Madden should be killed mercilessly (if only that was still legal in this state).”

6-16-02
Soy sauce: your thoughts?

Answer: “chibbs”

6-9-02
What’s your feeling on replacing the NBA refs with super-intelligent
badgers?

Answer: “JEBUS!”

6-2-02
What’s your feeling on word problems?

Answer: all of the submitted answers disgusted me, so they will not be posted here; my apologies

5-26-02
Can I get a witness?

Answer:
“you’re the real slim shady”

5-19-02
The contraction of a number of major league baseball teams has become a “hot topic” of late in the sports world. Whom is better: Will Ferrell or a chimp pretending to be a wealthy CEO?

Answer:
“the true answer to this question spawns a logical contradiction for which anything can be drawn as truth. To type in the correct answer would cause my computer to crash.”

5-12-02
Wookiees or Ewoks?

Answer: “FUCHINI!”

4-28-02
I’ve told many people about the banned footage of a monkey washing a cat. If you ran the world, would you allow the mutual washing of monkeys and kitties?

Answer:
due to lack of responses, the answer is an emphatic YES!

4-21-02
Where in the world is the Hamburglar?

Answer:
“no, actually – I am letting him use our couch while the times are rough”

4-14-02
If I had 3 cats and one killed another, what would the third cat do?

Answer:
“I also have 3 cats!” (the other answers were just too disturbing)

4-7-02
Do you consider this site “ninja-rific?”

Answer:
www.realultimatepower.net

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