TWEET @DonBanks (Sports Illustrated writer): “I want to say this very, very carefully, but I really hope slick (game) balls are not an issue tonight. Ok, feel free to have at that one.”
6:30pm At long last, FOOTBALL! Oddly enough, I take this moment to reflect upon how long it’s been since I’ve enjoyed a football game featuring a team I’m invested in. Thank you again, Buffalo Bills.
TWEET @hsimon62 (WGR55 radio host): “Is this grounds for divorce? Got home and wife had game on in standard def”
6:35pm The ladies resume drinking with some mimosas while Giants WR Hakeem Nicks hauls in a very nice catch for a gain of 19 yards. The New England secondary looks ripe for the picking, getting little to no pressure on the Giants receivers. I may have just exhausted my quota of actual football analysis for the day. You’ve been warned.
6:37pm Eli is sacked and resident Giants nutjob punter Steve Weatherford booms one down the field. As is his style, he exhibits all the signs of ‘roid rage as he celebrates his punt as if he’d just cured cancer while kicking a 384-yard punt.
Yes, that’s a punter.
6:38pm The commercials commence in pathetic fashion with a Bud Light Platinum commercial. What’s the difference between this, Bud Light and Budweiser? If the main marketing point of your ad campaign is that your bottle is blue-er and shinier than any other beer, that does not bode well for your chances of securing a room in my refrigerator. #MAKEITSOMETHINGELSE I will say the music was decent, however.
6:39pm I didn’t buy in immediately but I came around on the Audi vampires commercial, particularly when each of the aforementioned bloodsuckers utters a squeal of despair as the car’s UV headlamps extinguishes them from existence. I seemed to be in the minority in the room on this one.
TWEET @EricStangel (Late Show writer): “World’s Strongest Man on ESPN… #LateShowWriters”
6:40pm We have our first Gisele sighting. Oddly enough, no sign thus far of Eli’s big brother Peyton. I have to think Peyton’s keeping things on the DL by sporting a fake mustache and bandanna so as to keep his continuing drama from stealing the spotlight from his brother and the game.
6:40pm GISELE JINX! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SAFETY! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! SUCK IT, BRADY! I’m trying to figure out if millions of gamblers just leapt off buildings or Vegas itself imploded. What were the odds the first score of the game would be a safety?
6:42pm I have no idea what the commercial was for, but it ended with Flava Flav yelling, “HURR!” at the end. Thus, approval.
6:47pm Feel free to cover someone, New England. Giant receivers open all over the field.
TWEET @JustinStangel (Late Show writer): “Shocking Fact: On #SuperBowl Sunday, the average family eats 1 small bag of chips #lateshowwriters”
6:51pm Touchdown, Giants. Victor Cruz graces us with his salsa celebration dance as American collectively bids Tom Brady to suck it.
6:52pm Bud Light Platinum is now synonomous with techno music.
6:55pm This first Chevy commercial (post-apocalyptic wasteland) was very well done but concluded with our dismay at not having won a new Chevy Sonic. Downloading Chevy’s “Game Time” app before the game included a license plate number that would appear within the commercial. Neither Steve nor I had a matching number and thus, dismay.