More chimps in suits, please.

INDCHIPeyton Manning, he of the famous “Peyton Manning face,” finally found the validation he so desperately wanted by winning a Super Bowl. His Hall of Fame legacy now cemented, he can ride off into the sunset to do 68 more commercials about cutting meat and cheering on his accountant while wearing fake porn mustaches and drinking Gatorade.

Manning

What initially looked like it’d be a tightly-contested shootout turned into a 2nd half dominated by Indianapolis, with the hapless Bears defense unable to stop the Colts’ two-headed run attack of Joseph Addai and Dominic Rhodes. Rex Grossman doing his best Drew Bledsoe impression didn’t help matters, lobbing two wounded ducks into the waiting hands of Colt defensive backs. We even saw the “Rex Grossman Face,” which happens to look very similar to the “I’m Constipated Face” and the “I Just Might Barf Face.” Thanks go out to Bill Simmons for the concept of the Professional Athlete Face.

Rex

I don’t have too many more remarks about a somewhat forgettable game, aside from noting that Prince putting on a surprisingly decent halftime show, a decidedly low-key affair by Super Bowl standards. Call me cheesy, but Purple Rain sung in the rain was pretty cool. And I was thrilled that it poured rain throughout the game, soaking the corporate suits and C-list CBS TV stars who make up the majority of each year’s Super Bowl crowds.

On to the important stuff: the commercials. They’ve gotten progressively worse as a whole every year since the nineties, but there are typically one or two great ads that make up for it. And, almost always, those one or two great ads involve chimps and/or someone getting hit in the face or groin, America’s Funniest Home Videos-style. 2007 was no different. Despite an inexcusable lack of chimps, CareerBuilder.com had a decent series of ads with the office in the woods (featuring the “Promotion Pit,” within which co-workers fight to the death to climb the corporate ladder). Unfortunately, Career Builder is also guilty of depriving the viewing public of chimps–long a mainstay of Super Bowl commercialdom. An inexcusable misfire on their part. We can only hope they come to their senses and renew my faith in the concept of chimps in suits.

The beer commercial that will undoubtedly revolutionize competitive interaction between us all–replacing the ubiquitous fist-pound with a slap across the face. I can’t wait to try it out at work.

I also enjoyed the Dave Letterman & Oprah Winfrey ad. Dave finally got the Super Bowl of Love he had sought after for so very long.

Other than those, not much to write home about. Or to a blog. BUT WAIT–I almost forgot Ninja Goulet!

Take note for next year, marketing execs across the land: chimps in suits + Ninja Goulet = happy consumer.

Last but not least, I came across a fantastic picture during my post-Super Bowl research. It’s an inside joke, but if you’re on the inside I refer to, it’s many times funnier than anything aired during the Super Bowl. It’s good to see Justin Toy has moved up in the world:

OOOOOH YE-YEAH!

Take my word for it. That’s hilarious.

2 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. great game, great commercials, but i missed the chimps, too. halle loaded film and worked on pizza hut commercial with jessica.

  2. ohhh yiiiiii-yeeeeeaaaa!

Leave a Reply

The Wayward Cynic © 2014 Frontier Theme
%d bloggers like this: